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Rob on the cover of Vanity Fair Italy + new interview

sharpysunshine — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 10:16:12 -0700

If humanity is divided between the party of “I wish but I can’t” and the party of “I could but I don’t want”, I propose Robert Pattinson as candidate of the second faction. 23 years old, vampire in spite of himself, unwillingly sexy icon, the boy with the case ( he has three of them, really, like the years that he spent among hotels ), he looks at the world from a porthole and thinks: “Boh?!”. But then he plays a DO, drinks a beer, crunches a Twix and goes on. He admits that he never has had the sacred fire of art, but he was a cute guy, and the acting school of Barnes Theatre Company was the right place to meet girls. One thing leads to another, and so it happens that you find yourself on the set of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Then it happens that you hears they are doing a screen test for Twilight, and then you shoots a video with one of your friends, but this is so disgusting that you not even send it. But since lucky is even more stubborn of you not looking at her, they call you the same, and you gets the protagonist role. If Pattinson had read attentively Twilight before answering yes – or he had made his sister read it – he would have perceive that Edward Cullen ( the intellectual and torn hunk that all women dream ), would have bled him dry first. But he didn’t read it, and the rest is history, if not of the cinema, at least his history: daily chronicle of the prisoner of luxury suites, forced of room service, incredulous witness of collective hysteria phenomenon by fans. Trying to separate Edward Cullen’s canines from his neck, between one episode and another of the saga by Stephenie Meyer, he shoot Remember Me, a romantic drama movie directed by Allen Coulter and place in New York, where he plays Tyler, student from a rich and devastated family, who despises icy dad’s money ( Pierce Brosnan ) and lives in a revolting apartment with a idiotic roommate. But Ally ( Emilie De Ravin ), even her with a baggage of troubles, comes putting in order his heart and his kitchen. The two of them fall in love, save each others, loose each others and then who knows: the ending leaves the audience still and silent, so we can’t tell it. But since movies go faster than life, when I met him, in London, he has already the features of his new character Georges Duroy ( “one which hates everybody. He was needed after all this romantic stuff. Being always good is annoying” he tells me ), the Bel Amy of Maupassant: polished moustaches and beard, under them his t-shirt with shapeless neck makes a strange effect. Just a warning about the interview for all those people who can’t sleep at night asking if Robert is still ( still? Has he ever been? ) or not with Bella / Kristen Stewart: yes, I wanted to ask him about this, no, I couldn’t. “No pics, autographs and questions about private life, or the interview will end”, they threatened us. We have to stick to the official statement: “ we are just friends”. It is certain that there is ( or there was?) feeling between the two of them, “many and complex feelings” said Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke. In their private life they are such as in the movie: between them there is an intense attraction that you can’t realize. In fact, during the shooting, Kristen was ( officially) with her historic boyfriend, actor Michael Angarano. So, I wish but I can’t. Perhaps. Biographic notes that accompanies every movie of yours, describes you like a good and humble person, but it is really possible not getting big –headed when you are perpetually surrounded by screaming girls? “Yes, even because the effect of all of this is more terrifying. Success is a thing in which I literally fall into. Probably, if I have worked hard to achieve it, I would see things in a different way, but since I didn’t do anything, I am, how can I say, perpetually surprised.” Интервюто и останалите сканове след прочетете повече… It doesn’t seem such a great sensation. Did you ever think: give my previous life back? “No, thinking like this would be absurd. I regret some things: meeting people who don’t know who I am, being able to go in a shop, do not asking to myself if people is acting in a certain way with me because I’m famous. While I was shooting Remember Me, it happened that there were 40 people around the corner, ready to take a picture of me, or asking me an autograph. Well, this all is weird.” Where and how are you able to find a little peace? “There are a couple of friends who are close to me. And the presence of my sister Lizzie also ( a singer of discreet success ), helps me to maintain things the most normal as I can. Having some targets give me peace, I must always know what I’m doing, otherwise I get stressed.” Tyler, your character in Remember Me, is so different from Edward. How has it been returning human? “Even Tyler is not such a normal person. It’s strange, but I never performed an ordinary person. Also because the roles of ordinary people are rather boring. Tyler is simple, but not too much simple. I liked the idea of being not a vampire, but at the same time non a banal one.” Was it difficult? “Yes, from a certain point of view, but also not, because I could follow my instinct more. With Edward you can’t improvise. But I allowed myself to give Tyler little things of mine: I thought about how I was at 21, totally at the mercy of my emotions.” Were you one person willing to beat life, too? “Of course, and I’m still so. I know well that anger without any specific object” And how do you get over this? “Splitting everything.” When you go out with a woman for the first time, what do you tell about you first, to make splash? “I don’t talk about me, at the beginning. I think that it is always better listening than talking.” Now that you are famous, is it easier or more difficult to seduce a woman? “I think it’s more difficult, for different reasons. First, I can’t go where I want without someone being able to recognize me, and many of the women approaching me are doing this for exhibitionism. People don’t understand, but I’m not interested in this kind of conquests. So, at the end, all becomes really stressful: distinguishing who is authentic and who is not, fearing to hurt who is really kind. It’s all different from before, when nobody noticed me.” How do you distinguish the good ones from the bad ones? “The good ones call the day after…” Remember Me tells us that love can save a life. Do you believe in this, or is it a romantic thing? “I believe that is a really beautiful and important idea. I think that even seriously ill people can heal, literally, thanks to love all around them. Love gives you purposes. Tyler hadn’t any of them, but he met Ally and his perspective changes. She is like a pair of glasses, and you can see things through them. All begins easier when she arrives.” The movie also tells the things can end in an instant. There are people who spent all their life agonizing over this. And you: would you be ready to loose everything, happy about what you have received? “All movie turns around happiness and being able to see it. Having, here and there in life, moments of consciousness about our happiness makes life deign of being lived.” Do you recognize those moments? Yes, I think so. They last a little, e and I am always ready to ask myself: and now how much time will pass before I will regret or worry about something else? But between a trouble and another, there is peace.” Could you tell me one of those moments? “Little odd things: seeing how my little dog behaved in her last two days of life, how she was proud. I realize that it is a such a depressing thing to be told as happy moment.” What do you do to make the many hotel rooms you attend like home? The presence of my guitar makes much home, to me. And even going to Skype. Last year I practically didn’t talk to anyone and only when I returned to London, I realized that my social life has been completely collapsed. Now I put it again on its feet, and I cultivate it in the distance. Then, luckily, there are people in flesh and bones, the colleagues. Emilie De Ravin, beside that fragile aspect, is a tough person. One evening she drunk 25 beers in succession without feeling the blow. I need two weeks to recover myself and I stopped before her.” Sorry, but what do they mean the words SB on your hat? “I believe Santa Barbara. But I bought it in Tokyo. At least it seems to me….”

Another interview from the Remember Me Press Junket

athena4rob — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 11:17:21 -0800

And another one bites the dust... this is a great re-cap from CNN's Andrea Mineo who was lucky enough to interview Rob this weekend.I just recently became a tweeter on Twitter. After walking out of a screening of the new Robert Pattinson film "Remember Me," I tweeted just that. Suddenly my blackberry went into overdrive, and all incoming messages were from new Twitter followers. But really, they were all Robert Pattinson followers. I had no idea just how strong the power of Pattinson was until I witnessed it first hand. (Kat - Crazy isn't it?)Yesterday I interviewed R. Patz (as his fans affectionately call him) at the Regency Hotel here in New York. He was wearing an army-green jacket, a plain white-T and jeans. What really stood out was his hair. (Kat - Didn't you just want to touch it?) It was sticking straight up on top. It seemed to me that he was unlike most actors with preening stylists in tow. I liked that. (Kat - that's what we love too.)They held me right before it was my turn to go into his room. I could overhear one of the girls on headset saying, "Where are Robert’s lattes? It’s been a while." Soon a tray came up to the room with two metal pitchers.When I walked into to the room they announced my name and that I was with CNN. Pattinson stood up to shake my hand. This rarely happens at press junkets. Journalists are ushered in and out interview rooms like a revolving door - no one gets up. (Kat - such a gentleman....)I thought Robert looked a little pale, perhaps that’s what was making his green eyes seem so green. He was easy to talk to and relaxed, although through most of the interview his hands were moving. At times they were in his hair - now I understood why it was standing up seemingly on its own. He might have seemed a little sloppy, with his unruly hair and his slouchy T-shirt, but perhaps that is what made him more endearing. I asked him how he was doing. He didn’t complain; he motioned to the small table nearby which now had his coffee.He asked me if I was based in New York. I told him that I was."That’s cool," he said. "How have you been finding the snow?" he asked in his soft-spoken English accent.“It’s been okay, manageable.” I answered. I think he started to say "Can’t deal with it," when suddenly we heard someone yell “SPEED."We both laughed - it was time to start the interview. No time for small talk, there was a cattle drive outside of journalists waiting for their handful of minutes with him.I asked Pattinson about the film and if he thought it was about love and the fragility of life.“Sometimes people come into your life like at the right time and you know they achieve, there’s like a purpose they're destined to achieve something. But I don’t know if it’s necessarily about love but it does fix something in either one of them.""Remember Me" doesn’t have a typical Hollywood ending, and what happens has been leaked on the Internet. I asked him about the way the film ends."It’s strange as well as being a sort of tragedy cause also it’s very weirdly uplifting movie as well for a kind of tragic thing.""What do you do now to have a private life?" I asked. "There is such a spotlight on you now, where do you go to get away from it?"Pattinson leaned over to take a sip of his coffee. “There are so many places, I mean you have to be asking for it to cause problems for yourself." (Kat - this makes me happy to hear.)He said, "I’ve been shooting in London and it’s the absolute opposite of this. There’s no one around, I mean ever. There’s huge demographics of people who’ve never seen or heard of 'Twilight’ and it’s quite easy to find little pockets where you can like disappear.""Do you feel like you’re handling it well?" I asked."I don’t know yet," Pattinson said with a light laugh. "I’m kind of just working the whole time, so hopefully I’ll just side-step around everything."It may be difficult for Pattinson to side-step around everything, when he’s at the center of it all.

I'm only with my boyfriend (of a year!) because I'm scared of being single

Sun, 28 Feb 2010 17:32:31 -0800

My boyfriend is exactly the sort of guy I don't want to end up with. But we've just celebrated our one year anniversary.
When I met my current boyfriend, I'd just had a painful breakup; I'd been with my ex for three years and only ended it when we we couldn't manage the distance between our colleges any more. A friend-of-a-friend made a move on me in a club, and it made me feel attractive and wanted. After a little convincing, I went home with him - it's something I'd never done before, but I wanted to try and move on and stop thinking about my ex as soon as possible. It wasn't how I'd expected a one-night stand to be; we talked for ages and snuggled all morning afterwards. Before we knew it we were making plans; he came back that night, took me out for dinner the night after and we've been dating ever since. At the time, I thought it was a fairytale - just when I'd expected to be heartbroken and struggling to adjust to the single life, I had great company every night and regular fun dates with a guy who was really 'into me'.
One year on, it's not so rosy. It was supposed to be a fling for a reason; my boyfriend is a natural flirt who loves female attention. I know he's cheated in the past, and although I have no reason to believe he has cheated on me, an incident arose where I asked him to look in the eye and tell me the truth. He lied, for hours. He lets girls who want to get with him sit in his lap in front of all our friends, and it makes me push the boundaries of my flirtation with other guys; hardly a healthy pattern. Whether a cheater or not, I don't trust him, and I believe trust is intrinsic to a good relationship. But that's not all.
My relationship with my ex had been my first serious one, and we were really lucky in that it was pretty fantastic for that point in our lives. I was used to throwing everything I had into a relationship to make it as enjoyable as possible; you know, the little signs to show you care about each other. I wrote him little notes in his books and sent slushy/saucy texts whenever I felt the urge, knowing he'd appreciate and reciprocate everything I did. We both did everything we could to make the other happy, without a second thought. Naturally, I can't help making the same efforts now - and also having the same expectations. I love spontaneously planning a day trip or a picnic or a date night or just a sensual night in, and like to get all the details right, from new underwear to his favourite foods to the perfect little restaurant. I recently planned a two-night mid-week romantic break in Edinburgh, taking care of everything and surprising him ten minutes before the train left.
He didn't even say thank you.
It's not a case of ignorance; I know he knows how much thought and effort I put into things, into making him happy. Maybe he's even grateful, but incapable of showing it. Maybe he thinks it's just something I like to do, or that maintaining the relationship is the girl's job, or that a little spooning in the morning takes care of his side of the bargain. Maybe he's even so egotistical that he thinks he deserves this treatment with nothing in return. Either way, it's a slap in the face to me. I've been in a loving relationship, and to me it's about trust, respect and passion for each other. He's not the sort of guy I want to end up with, and I've already spent a year of my college youth on him.
But I can't break up with him. I've tried; despite his lack of effort to make our relationship work, when threatened he refuses to let it happen, even sitting in my room for hours until I cave. He'll act as if I haven't broken things off, and I just can't keep it up on my own. Why should I sit here lonely, I think, when I could be cuddled up with him watching a movie? Yes, the best he could say was that he 'didn't want to not be with me', and yes, I know he won't act any different, because he can't see what's wrong. I can't ever depend on him to be there for me when I'm down - he often just doesn't text me back, even when I indicate I'm feeling pretty down - but he strokes my hair and kisses me on the forehead. The truth is, I can't imagine not having a boyfriend; what I would do in the evenings all by myself, how I'd spend my time without planning things for us to do, what my incentive would be for dressing up and making an effort, how I'd feel without the frequent physical reassurance of a partner's attention. So I won't break it off, and if he continues not to want to...looks like it'll be the second year anniversary before we know it.

Shaun White vs. Lindsey Vonn: Who's Better?

amybdk — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 08:15:41 -0800

Source

Vs.

Call it the Tiger Woods-Roger Federer debate, Winter Olympics style. On Wednesday, the two most heavily hyped Americans in these Olympics games, skier Lindsey Vonn and halfpipe snowboarder Shaun White, lived up to the billing and dominated their respective events, winning two golds. Like Federer in tennis and Woods in golf, they're both transcendent talents who have set the standards of greatness in their sports. One of the more popular arguments amongst sports fan around the world surrounds the question of whose accomplishment is more impressive, Woods' 14 major golf titles or Federer's record 16 grand slams. What's the tougher game to master, golf or tennis?

In keeping with the proud human tradition of starting sports arguments, it's time to pull up a barstool and pit Vonn, America's sweetheart, and White, he of the flowing red mane, against each other. Let's attempt to answer the most basic sporting question in the world: Who's better? (See 25 Olympic athletes to watch.)

This argument is particularly prescient to the mountain crowd. Like golfers and tennis players at the country club, skiers and snowboarders often share a home on the slopes, but they don't always see eye to eye. For years, the regal skiers treated the upstart snowboarders like pests; thanks to efforts by pioneers like White who have given the sport legitimacy and near-mainstream acceptance, there's at least a grudging respect between the two camps. "I wouldn't say there's a rivalry," says Rick Bower, a halfpipe coach for the U.S. team. He stops to reconsider that statement. "There is a little bit, I guess."

Each side has a case. Vonn is a physical specimen. Her powerful legs give her advantage at the start, and smart money says she could shame White in the weight room. Watching her whiz down a bumpy mountain at 65 m.p.h while maintaining her near-perfect technical position gives you a healthy rush of adrenaline. On Wednesday morning, Vonn's teammate Julia Mancuso had turned in the downhill ride of her life at Whistler Creekside course, setting herself up for an upset gold. But Vonn responded, achy shin and all, finishing the 1.8-mile course in 1 minute, 44.19 seconds, beating silver medalist Mancuso by .66 seconds. Vonn's run was even more amazing considering that several top skiers crashed on the speedy Whistler course.

White, meanwhile, reached into his deep bag of snowboarding tricks during his gold medal run at Cypress Mountain on Wednesday night. On the routine that clinched his second straight Olympic halfpipe gold, his amplitude - the term snowboarders use to describe the aerial distance they fly off the 22-ft. halfpipe - far exceeded that of the other competitors. He executed back-to-back double corks (two flips, three body revolutions, like a corkscrew) on his winning run. Although he had already the clinched the title, on his second run White still went all out, and landed the Double McTwist 1260. That's a double backward flip with 3.5 revolutions, a maneuver which pushes the limits of what snowboarders can accomplish. Don't be fooled by White's shaggy looks: Underneath those baggy jeans, White is more jacked than you think. "He's using a lot of his core muscles," says Bower. "He definitely has a lot of strength in his legs, and his back muscles. He's wiry strong, and definitely in shape." (Watch a video about training for snowboard cross.)

When asked which sport was tougher, downhill skiing or halfpipe snowboarding, each side protects its turf. "I know what they do is massively difficult," says Chemmy Alcott, a ski racer from Great Britain who finished 13th in the downhill race. "But just being on skis, you can create so much more energy and speed than a snowboarder." Another totally biased observer, Vonn's younger sister, Karin, offers one of the more rational reasons for favoring her sibling. "It's like comparing gymnastics to football," says Karin, 21, a student at the University of San Diego. "With one you do tricks and stuff, but at the end of the day, this one requires more strength and power. I think Lindsey would win."

What a kind sister. The snowboarders don't quite sell themselves as well as the skiers. "Downhill skiing is way gnarlier than snowboarding," says snowboarder Markku Koski of Finland. Don't hire that guy as your spokesperson. Fortunately for the boarders, other players inside the game will fight for White. "You need to be able to flip yourself multiple times," says Bower, who is not shy about giving White the advantage over Vonn. "It's not just one jump, it's a series of jumps, five or six in these pipes. To land cleanly, and to maintain the speed that you need to do the giant double flips that they're doing, that takes an incredible amount of athleticism." (See TIME's full coverage of Vancouver 2010.)

You could look to Tom Kelly to settle the score. Kelly, the spokesperson for the United States Ski and Snowboard Association, is supposed to love both of his children equally. That's his job. So when I asked him which endeavor was tougher, skiing or snowboarding, I expected a dodge. Surprisingly, he didn't duck the question. "When you're sitting in a bar and see Shaun White do a double cork, that's a singular move, a singular activity," Kelly says. "But if you look at what Lindsey is putting on the line, doing 80 miles per hour, to keep that going for that long a time, at that speed, under conditions you don't know, that's pretty tough. I would give her the edge. I think the guy sitting in the bar would give Shaun White the edge."

Well, maybe I drink too much. Here's one man's humble opinion, after witnessing both gold-medal performances on Wednesday: Vonn is awe-inspiring, but White is still the more impressive athlete. To me, it's all about the flipping. You can teach me to ski; obviously I'd never reach Vonn's level, but if thousands of folks of all ages hit the slopes every weekend, so can I. But I'm not pointing my head to the ground in mid-air. And I'm certainly not doing it 35 feet from the bottom on a pipe. (My fear of heights also works in White's favor).

Skiers, there's no need to throw your poles. No sports argument can ever be really settled. That's why we love them so much. And thanks to the exploits of White and Vonn at these Olympics, this one is just getting started.

** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So, 4.0 kids, what do you think? Shaun White vs. Lindsey Vonn: Who's Better?

Challenge 6: Progress Update

chloe bella — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 18:32:13 -0800

My main resolution was to find some way to get my migraines under control! I was having them, or migraine-related symptoms, pretty much daily from Thanksgiving through mid-January. It had completely taken over my life, and the medication I started taking in early December could take up to 3 months to become effective. After reading everything I could about health, nutrition, and migraines, I made several drastic lifestyle changes, which became my New Year's resolutions. First, I gave up caffeine altogether, because migraines are frequently triggered both by having too much caffeine and not enough caffeine. I'm happy to say that I haven't had a cup of regular coffee in about two months! To be honest, this was one of the hardest adjustments I've ever made, and there were quite a few times when I didn't think I could give it up. I had always heard people say that they have way more energy after they quit caffeine, and I've finally gotten to that point. I now feel great from the time I wake up until I go to bed, and I don't seem to crash in the afternoons like I did when I was on coffee. But it took about a month of feeling like I was going to fall asleep at my desk to get here! I also transitioned to a mostly vegan diet. I definitely got off to a slow start on this, as the first few weeks in January were filled with a lot of dairy. Now, I have dairy once or twice a week, usually when I'm eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, but I eat totally vegan otherwise. So, I've managed to stick with my diet-related resolutions, and I'm actually really surprised by how well I've done. It's paid off because it's now been an entire month since my last migraine, and I've never had more energy or felt better! And as an added bonus, my skin looks so much better.

My fitness resolutions, however, are another story. I'm signed up to do a half marathon in April, but, alas, my running has been thwarted by my migraine medication. The medication I'm on for migraine prophlaxis is a beta-blocker (i.e. it's main use is to lower people's blood pressure) and so it prevents your heart from reaching what would ordinarily be its maximum heart rate, which makes workouts feel much, much more strenuous. Running distances that used to feel effortless to me are now incredibly difficult, and I get winded while running at what used to be my easy conversational pace. But, I'm just thankful that I can even attempt to go running and that I'm not stuck in bed with migraines! So, onward and upward with my half-marathon training! I figure that even if I get so tired that I have to walk during the race, it's still better than not even trying.
My other resolution was to increase my flexibility. I've gotten better about going to yoga (though I'm still not going as much as I would like), and I'm making it a point to stretch thoroughly after my runs. I feel like I'm noticeably more flexible, but it's a difficult thing to quantify.
So, overall, I'm pretty happy with where I am 6 weeks out, but there's still room for improvement!

Rob's Details Interview

athena4rob — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 08:34:10 -0800

COFFEEIt's the unseasonably cold November of 2008 when I go to New York's Bowery Hotel. There's a young man sitting in the garden, wrapped in about nine black sweaters and wearing a wool hat, smoking cigarettes, sipping a latte the size of his head, and furiously making notes on a script in the bitter cold. I have read about teenage girls lighting themselves on fire in front of his hotel, but at the moment Robert Pattinson is warming his hands on a coffee cup.
Hello, I'm Jenny. I think I'm here so you can check me out."Okay. I'm Rob. Um . . . would you like some fries? With gravy?"
Allen Coulter, the director of Hollywoodland and a creative force behind The Sopranos, has sent me. He was thinking about doing this movie-it wasn't quite there yet, but I should "come meet Rob."
Rob. When he came to the United States, he slept on his agent's sofa and then got a small part in a movie called Harry Potter and the Something of Something, which grossed nearly $900 million worldwide. And then he made another one, called Twilight, which grossed $385 million in theaters and almost another $200 million in U.S. DVD sales. Box-office riches, like so much of the female population of this planet, follow him from continent to continent, nursing a raging crush.
Coulter suggested I do some rewrite work on Remember Me (for the record, there is only one credited writer, Will Fetters), the first American release in which Rob will portray a mortal, nonmagical, carbon-based life form of the earthly realm-Salvador Dalí, whom he played in Little Ashes, surely doesn't qualify. As Rob scribbles away on the script's pages, it's clear he is starting his own revision process.
Rob's face is constantly busy-especially his kaleidoscopic eyes, which are continually rolling and dilating, because he is always thinking. Over the course of that latte, he contemplates Jimi Hendrix, French fries, girls, art, beer, his cousin the philosopher, girls, truth, God, his dog, girls, and whether this week's stalker has followed him from L.A. I don't think he could turn his brain off if he wanted to.
Despite the legion of fans trailing him from hotel to hotel, laying siege to each like the Roman army, he is neither fearful nor cocky-he's hungry, curious, forever reaching intellectually. That may not sound like a big deal, but think of the context: Complete strangers want to f*ck you, shoot you, be you, buy you, sell you, run their fingers through your hair, watch you have sex, hear you pee, eat chips with you, and kidnap you and stuff you in the trunk of their car. And you? You must know more, more, more about exotic tropical diseases.
Rob and I discover we share a mutual fascination with afflictions that maim and disfigure and disgust: He brings up cancrum oris, in which bacteria eat away at your face until you get kind of a window in the side of your head and the entire world sees your teeth; I mention cyclic vomiting syndrome, a condition in which you puke literally all the goddamn time; he delights in lymphatic filariasis, where parasitic worms burrow into your lymph nodes and can make your balls swell to the size of watermelons, forcing you to tote them around in a wheelbarrow.
We come up with a blockbuster hit movie, entitled Candiru Infestation, about a tiny fish that swims up your urethra and into your urinary tract and lodges in your cock with backward-facing umbrella spikes it shoots from its spine.

"f*cking brilliant! It could be like Finding Nemo!" says Rob. "And the little candiru is lost in the balls! Think of the soundtrack!"

BEER NO. 1Fourteen months later we're in London. New Moon, the second movie in the Twilight saga, has set box-office records for largest midnight opening and biggest opening-day gross. Remember Me, Rob's young-man-in-crisis drama, has wrapped. He has 24 hours before he has to start rehearsals for Bel Ami, based on the Guy de Maupassant novel, in which he plays a bed-hopping social climber.
He is waiting to pick me up in the bar of my hotel. He has ordered himself a pint of beer and, remembering my beverage of choice, a Diet Coke for me. He has the lovely manners of the good son of a good mum.
He says he wants to take me to a particular restaurant nearby, "just a little out-of-the-way place." So out of the way, it turns out, that after wandering around nearly all of Covent Garden, we can't find it. He doesn't seem too surprised, really. Of late he's been getting lost a lot in his own hometown. But then it's been a couple of years since he's actually lived here, and London is confusing as hell anyway.
Considering alternatives, we peek into a crowded café full of the young and beautiful, but he recoils. A few minutes later, when we come to a tiny Mexican place, his hackles go up a bit. Hmm. I ask him whether, at this point, he's able to sniff out crazed fans lurking under the tables.
"Yes. Sure. But last time I was here, the guacamole was bad."
Rob has made no sartorial concessions to Britain's ugliest winter weather in 30 years. A button-down, light Carhartt-like jacket, no gloves. He does have a hat, perhaps the same one he wore in New York. I'm swaddled like the Michelin Man and I'm f*cking freezing. He's cheery, unfazed, giggling away. It occurs to me that London seems to afford him a freedom he doesn't have in New York or Los Angeles. And a London night with deserted, snow-piled streets, after an epic storm that paralyzed Heathrow and shut down the Eurostar trains, is like an unbridled romp while going commando.
Without trying, we arrive back where we started, in front of the Covent Garden Hotel. Across the street there's a high-end sex-toy-and-bondage shop called Coco de Mer. I mention that I popped in there earlier (before the National Gallery, thank you), and I tell him about this insane S&M body-harness contraption they have that allows you to dress up like a horse and have a long tail.
"That's so English. I want to do this entire interview wearing it, from an equine point of view," he says, stomping the sidewalk with make-believe hooves. "Seriously. As an experiment in public perceptions. Is the place still open?"
BEER NO. 2We're inside, at a warm corner of the hotel's Brasserie Max, and Rob is having another beer. We're talking about how he copes. "When I was 17 until, I don't know, 20, I had this massive, baseless confidence. This very clear idea of myself and how I would achieve success, which involved making decisions. I saw myself picking up the phone and saying 'Absolutely not' or 'Definitely yes.' Having control. Except you have to figure out whether the way you think at 19 or 20 has any value. And eventually I understood, with all that control, which was probably illusory, I wasn't progressing. So now I'm relinquishing a bit. I'll be a tiny bit naked. Except tonight I won't, because it's f*cking freezing and my balls will shrivel up."

He may keep his balls covered in winter, but Allen Coulter says that during the shooting of Remember Me, Rob did bare himself: "It was about control, for him, in the beginning. But he wanted forward motion more than he wanted to protect himself. Really brave-especially for a young guy with a big target on his back."
Rob does seem eager to shed some clothing, to give up the reins.
"Shall we go see about that harness? Seriously, you eventually realize you can't make every single decision. I was always building, always protecting something. At the same time, I seemed to be losing the ability to move. I'd protected myself into checkmate. Even mentally." In that moment, he has a realization: "I can barely remember the last two years. Not like a haze of partying or anything like that. Just . . . it's been crazy."
There's been surreal stuff. Like the time at a charity event in Cannes when two attendees bid nearly $60,000 combined to have Rob give their daughters a kiss on the cheek. There's been scary stuff, though the idea he might truly be at risk strikes him as absurd: "I find it really funny-if I got shot, I would literally be in hysterics. I would be like, 'Are you serious? Jesus Christ, get Zac Efron! He's got more social relevance than I do.'" He's pretty sure there was some good stuff, too. "There was this one time with some elephants on a golf course in Barcelona . . ."
He drifts into a reverie. He gets amazed easily, and at the moment he's fixated on the mysterious green bar snacks. They're sort of like wasabi peas, but not. They're covered in chili powder and look like tiny tumors. He's eating every single one.
"f*ck, these are good. What are they? I want to snort them-they'd clear up my sinuses."
BEER NO. 3Rob's hunger is more than merely metaphorical. He orders two entrees-the mini beef burgers with tomato-and-onion relish and the mini chicken burgers with mango chutney-along with another pint. "I eat so much, I'm like a compulsive eater. I've been eating room service, and I'm always really worried about it, so I choose like six things on the menu and eat them all."
He doesn't want to miss anything, which implies a hint of regret. He didn't always want to be an actor. He modeled. He's a talented guitarist and keyboard player who has toyed with following his older sister Lizzy into pop music. But he's a serious type, and his most serious aspirations involved political speech writing. "It's fascinating. You'd have two or three minutes to affect someone. Make them hear you. Get the message out and maybe it will echo. I quite enjoyed doing press for the first Twilight, because there was a similarity. But after a bit I was ladling it out. If you want people to listen to you, you'd better have something to say. I felt a responsibility to be fascinating. You're bargaining with the audience. Is this enough for them? And that affects the way you look at art."
Art. It's illogical to think he's not allowed to have ideas about it merely because he has helped a lot of people make a lot of money.
"Before, I felt like I couldn't break through anything, including myself. And now it feels a bit as though I've climbed along the side of my brain and am at least looking in. But I know it will take me at least another 10 years before I'm remotely satisfied with anything I do. But with acting you keep trying in the hopes you might be . . . great. But then I think, does wanting to be good or even great, or even just wanting to make art, cheapen the experience?"

I worry his head is going to explode. He answers questions with questions. Doors open onto more doors. This sometimes leads to trouble with scripts: Since he sees every character's point of view, he often needs some sort of distillation. The catch is that unless the distillation somehow encompasses every character's essence, it only causes his imagination to fire more wildly. It's the kaleidoscope-vision thing.
Some people can have the ocean in front of them and just put their big toe in. Rob wants to swim until he drowns, and he's going to try to drink it all up before he goes under. His striving is a source of worry because he can't really tell anybody he wants more: "Please don't make this about me complaining. Please. I'm the luckiest bastard on the planet." He worries he might be selfish. He worries maybe he's a nonhumanist-separatist-weirdo because his most profound moments have been with his dog. And he worries about whether he can be an actor who can reach the masses and still ask for anything.
"If it exists out there-this invisible-creative-spirit-idea thing-then you're the medium through which it travels so everybody can touch it. But . . . what gives you the right to be the medium? What gives you the right to claim it? And then get an agent and say I want $20 million and a fruit basket to be the medium, thank you very much.
"As an actor, you can elevate the human condition or cheapen it. I would assume it's the same with anything you do-you try to elevate and maybe someday you will." An actor may indeed have the ability to raise us, but Rob unconsciously starts speaking sotto voce each time he utters the word actor or any variation of it.
Rob, did you know that every time you say actor or acting you lower your voice to a whisper?He's genuinely startled. "I do?"Yes, so quietly it's like you're saying Negro.He laughs, lightens up. "What if we were 'acting' like 'Negroes'? Then we'd be f*cked-we couldn't hear anything. . . ."
BEER NO. 4Rob asks the waiter for another beer. He's talking about an uncle who worked in a steel mill in the Yorkshire town his dad grew up in. Rob's father and his other uncles moved away as soon as they were old enough, but the eldest brother stayed there his whole life.
"They're bulldozing houses, whole streets of houses. And my dad asked him, 'Why stay?' He said, 'Who's going to look after our mom?' And I was just thinking, Jesus f*cking Christ, there might be something wrong with my emotional sight, because I'm not sure if I could make that kind of sacrifice. The only emotional connection of relevance is with my dog. My relationship with my dog, it's ridiculous.
"I think you need to be able to break through what you think about yourself to try to make any sort of art. I used to play music all the time, and the most amazing part was the freedom that came with kicking myself in the ass, letting go, and surprising myself."
He tried to let go a little bit with the photo shoot accompanying this interview-it wasn't easy.
"I really hate vaginas. I'm allergic to vagina. But I can't say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours. But I wasn't exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover."

Is your mom going to have something to say about it?"Oh, God." He puts his head in his hands, shrugs. "Well, she quite enjoyed when I got her cable." It's not that Rob's mother now spends all night watching Skinemax in her London home. "No, no! God, no! It's just that there's nakedness all over the place now. But this shoot, it's kind of eighties nakedness, you know? If you look at porn in, like, the eighties, there was something kind of quaint about it, quite sweet-like this little naked community. The people who made it liked it, they had respect for it. Not remotely like the porn that's available now. No community in it at all. It's just everything, everywhere."
CANDYIn the U.K., Smarties are made of chocolate and are kind of like M&M's in weird colors like mauve and teal but somehow more delicious. Rob's not really a dessert guy, yet he's rapidly hoovering my last packet of Smarties. "Amazing. I've eaten like 5,000 of these already. See what you have to deal with?"
In Remember Me he plays a guy whose issues are eerily like his own. Tyler is a young man who has retreated into himself, but then he meets a woman, becomes conflicted, and has to choose whether to remain in lockdown or step into life and the world.
"Tyler is so aware of his actions. But he has no idea whether they're of any value at all. Can you be a person if you live in the bubble? He's stuck in the middle. At the same time, he's lucky to have the choice. Conflict is innate in a lucky person."
What attracted you to the role?"I'm a lucky person. Thank God. And I'm conflicted. Thank God."
He tells me about a book he read called Eat the Rich, by P.J. O'Rourke (full disclosure: P.J. was married briefly to my sister, though Rob had no idea). He was drawn to a part that says something like: One man's wealth does not mean another man's poverty-and vice versa. Rob's slightly embarrassed to voice this idea.
He is unsure whether to feel guilty, to bask in it all, or both. Thing is, there aren't any rules for a life as extraordinary as his is right now. He tells me an elephant story. Not the one about Barcelona elephants-one about some he'd met recently in California.
"Did you know elephants purr? It's completely scary if you don't know what it is. They purr like cats, but their heads are so deep they sound like velociraptors. You feel it in the ground under your feet. So this big female started sniffing my foot-big female elephant, that is. She sniffed it so hard it came up off the pavement like her trunk was a vacuum cleaner. Then she took my entire body in her mouth. I was holding on to her head, and as I slowly let go she tightened her grip really carefully until I'm just upside down in her mouth and she's going through my pockets with her trunk, looking for peppermints. It was the best day of my life."
So you gave up control to an elephant, got groped, mugged, had your candy tugged at-and it was glorious? "Yeah. So beautiful you can't imagine. And the baby elephant was so excited that it sprinted out and did its routine in five seconds and then curtsied to everybody. It was actually laughing. Brilliant. Did you know they can also do imitations of other animals? A horse, a chicken, a monkey-these elephants could, anyway. They were movie elephants. One had written a screenplay, and one really wants to direct."

He laughs. He was in Los Angeles, in discussions to star with Sean Penn in Water for Elephants, an adaptation of Sara Gruen's novel. The elephants are actors like him, and he wonders if he might, on some cosmic level, be a bit like them.
"Do you know how they die? The elephant guy told me their molars get ground down from eating wood but regenerate like six times. And after that they slowly starve to death. Which is poignant, but that must also be what gives them time to get to the elephant graveyard. They're incredibly designed creatures. I mean, people hang on way too f*cking long. If I knew that when my teeth fell out, that was it . . . Wow. The best day of my life. Beautiful, beautiful day."
A few moments later, Rob announces he's going to get a cab home and excuses himself.
Can I walk you? I don't like you going out there all by yourself."I'll be okay."

10 signs you are losing your best friend

Monique Marie — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:38:15 -0800

You have had the same best friend since elementary school. You have seen each other literally go through everything. You have lost count of the number of sleepovers you’ve had. But lately, it seems like the two of you are drifting apart. I’ve been there too and just so there’s no confusion, let me give you some 10 signs you are losing your best friend, so that way you can try talking things over with them or realize you have to move on.

10. She moved away and didn’t leave you a number to call - Your best friend moved away without giving you her phone number, email address, live in address, or any other way that you could get in contact with her. Sometimes this is the easiest (and also cowardly) way to let someone know that you really don't want to be friends anymore. The best thing to remember is that it is probably not about you and if it is, it doesn't matter because she chose to take the easy way out. Sure, you will be mad because you want to know why, but in reality, if she does this to you then she wasn't such a good friend after all.

9. She doesn’t want to add you on Facebook or Myspace - Even though you have sent invites and asked her why many times she keeps making excuses up for reasons as to why she does not want to be Facebook friends. Another reason this happens is because maybe for some reason she is ashamed of being your friend or that she is lying about not being friends with someone or talking to your ex, etc. Either way, if you can't be her Facebook friend then maybe you shouldn't be her real life friend either.

8. She ignores your calls - Your so called best friend has all of a sudden stopped taking your calls or doesn’t take them as often as she used to. You leave numerous messages on her answering machine, but still, she does not return your call. What could this mean? This is probably one of the things that really drive me up the wall. Why can't people just tell you the reason? I mean, I know people get busy with life but it does not take that long to pick up the phone and chat for 3 minutes. If you want to be friends with someone then you make the time to do so.

7. She no longer smiles - Do you remember the good old days? When your best friend smiled instantly when you came into the room? When you created that silly handshake? When you giggled like little girls? Now, she doesn’t even smile, let alone do the friendship handshake the two of you invented in school. This is of course you cannot think of anything wrong that is going on in her life.

6. She is always busy - You make plans together and she decides to cancel at the last minute or she just plain out don't make plans because she says she is too busy. I remember I had a friend one time that kept canceling every single time we make plans. We would make plans a month in advance and every time I was about ready to go pick her up she would text me and tell me that she couldn;t make it. The best one I liked was we were suppose to go do something and she would text (always texted me, never called me to cancel) and told me she had to cancel because she fell down in the shower and hurt herself. I offered to come over and take care of her, get a pizza, we could watch some bad movies, etc. She claimed that she was just too tired and sore and that she wanted to lay down. OK, so I decided to go to the place where we were suppose to go later on that day by myself and guess who was there with someone else. Boy, you should of seen the look on her face when she realized that I showed up. That really hurt and to this day she still will not tell me why.

5. She has a new group of friends - I guess she’s the type that believes in with the new and out with the old, because if she has a new group of friends and has a new “best friend,” then chances are she no longer wants to be with you.

4. She doesn’t respond to you on messenger - In the old days, she would spend hours talking to you on messenger and more importantly respond right away. Now, when you see her online, you message her and she does not write you back or even if she does, it seems like all she’s doing is typing one word answers.

3. When you talk, it’s awkward - It seems that you have no idea who she is anymore and everytime you have a conversation with her it just gets strange. Remember how you have inside jokes and can talk about nothing for hours? Now, you hear silence and a lot of umms and ok's and the inside jokes just aren't making her laugh anymore. The biggest one that can think of is that she is now watching TV or on the Internet when you are talking, which means she isn't paying attention to you and does not care what you have to say.

2. She avoids you - When she sees you in public, she goes out of her way to avoid you. This is not okay, unless the two of you have been fighting lately. Maybe it’s something you did unconsciously. I remember the friend from the above story, saw me at a store and then I saw her. I waved to her and actually started walking over to her and she turned around and started walking away. I was confused because just two days earlier she told me that she missed seeing me and wanted to make plans.

1. You make eye contact, but she says nothing to you in public - In public, you make eye contact with each other, but she acts as if she does not even know you. She does not even say hi to you. Yes, this is a harsh one, but it is definitely the number one sign to watch out for.
I know that it can hurt to see your best friend who you knew for so long trying to avoid you. I guess it goes without saying that there is always room for change and you should try to move on with your life, because it is obvious that she has moved on with her life too. You still have the memories, pictures and scrapbooks of the two of you. And you know what, it happens!

50 Cheap Date Ideas

PinkNC — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 07:17:05 -0800

Discount Dating

A lighter wallet is no excuse to turn date night into a luxury. Get out of your sweatpants, put down the cold pizza, and check out these 51 budget-friendly date ideas that will get you off the couch and into each other's pants.

Get on thin ice. Depending on the weather, head to an indoor or outdoor ice-skating rink - it's the perfect excuse to hold hands, "accidentally" fall on top of each other, and grab a cup of hot chocolate and cozy up to each other to keep warm.

Skip the pricey wine bar and grab a few beers at your local dive bar. Make sure you pick a place with a pool table or dartboard set up, and challenge him to a few games. Loser owes the winner a song on the jukebox.

He may hate to shop, but he'll end up thanking you if you drag him to a flea market. There's something for everyone and plenty of things you never knew existed - you might even discover he has a hobby or weird collection you didn't know about!

Settle in for a night of pampering: No pricey spa required. Use your empty wallets as an excuse to stay in - and up - all night. Run a bubble bath and then treat each other to full-body massages. Sleep in the next day.

Get an adrenaline rush at the roller-skating rink. As long as you don't mind being the oldest people there who aren't chaperoning their children, it's a great way to have fun and let loose with each other. Top it off with a bowl of ice cream when you get home.

Play house: Dress up in your most serious grownup outfit and leave your tiny apartment to visit some open houses. Spend the day arguing over where you would put the love seat, discussing the difference between eggshell and ecru paint, and giggling over strangers' hideous decorating choices.

Does he drive you up a wall sometimes? He probably feels the same way about you, so put on your sneakers and head to an indoor rock-climbing gym. Challenge him to a race to the top and relieve sore muscles with a hot shower together afterward. Just try not to gloat too much about beating him.

Celebrate the first snow of winter with a day of sledding. Pick a hilly spot in your town and use garbage can lids as makeshift sleds. Wear a bike helmet to up the dorky fun factor, and celebrate living through the experience with a cup of hot cocoa.

Spend the day picking fruit at a local farm, either one-on-one or with a few couples you know - the more the merrier. Once you've picked all the apples you can carry back to the car, get creative in the kitchen and think up some recipes with the fruit you picked. Judge each other's creations, Top Chef style.

Plan a trip. You might need to save up for awhile, but that doesn't mean you can't daydream. Plan your dream vacation with each other - it might be the incentive you need to start putting your loose change in the piggy bank.

Challenge your guy to a little friendly competition and surprise him by taking him to a rifle range. After each round, compare your targets - loser buys the next round of bullets; winner gets gloating privileges.

Spice up your movie-night routine by finding a drive-in movie theater. Stop at the supermarket on your way to load up on your favorite snacks, and bring blankets and pillows to make the car extra cozy. Let him pick the movie - you'll get points for being easygoing, even though you know you'll probably miss most of the movie.

The easiest way to booze it up on the cheap? Take a tour of a winery or brewery, and pick up some wine facts for your next dinner party while getting tipsy.

Dying to see a musical or play but can't afford the tickets? Call around to see if you can buy tickets to the dress rehearsal instead - you'll pay a fraction of the price for the same experience.

Wherever you live, chances are there are local bands dying for an audience. Check out MySpace for bands in your area and go to a show. Alternate with your guy on who gets to pick the band so that you both get a chance to enjoy your favorite music genres, and save cash on booze by bringing a flask.

Head to the bookstore and walk through the aisles together, showing each other your favorite books, bonding over the books you both hated, and flipping through a Kama Sutra book for ideas for later.

Bowl him over at the bowling alley. Psych him out by reminding him of how many gross people wore his shoes before him, and don't forget to program his sugary-sweet nickname ("Muffin Face") onto the computerized scoreboard instead of his real name.

Show him your rugged side and build something together. Ask him to help you build something like a coffee table or dresser for your place - he'll be psyched that you asked him, just as long as you can bite your tongue when the table he puts together falls apart the moment you set your cup of coffee down.

Appeal to his inner child (it shouldn't be too hard to tap into) and buy tickets for a carnival. Embrace the cheesiness - share cotton candy, let him try to win you a prize, and ride the Ferris wheel until you get nauseous. It's a great way to get to know each other if you've just started dating and will serve as a reminder of how much fun you can have together if you've been dating for awhile.

Keep up on the specials. For a break on your dinner bill, check out sites like Restaurant.com for the restaurant deals in your area. And check out the websites of your favorite bars - they might have drink specials on certain nights, like a free pizza with every drink.

Ask him about his fantasy cars and he'll probably talk your ear off. Head over to a local car dealership and test-drive the most expensive car they'll let you take out of the parking lot. Take turns at the wheel but resist the urge to nitpick each other's driving skills.

Indulge your sweet tooth with your sweetie - visit a chocolate or cookie factory. Do a quick Google search to see if there are any in your area and give one a call to see if it does tours. If it only does group tours, make it a group date and invite a few other couples.

Get spooked at a haunted house. Check out Hauntedhouse.com for listings in your state. Start off the night by watching a scary movie before you go, and then try not to laugh when he launches a foot into the air at every corner.

Get out those matching aprons and fire up the skillet for a night of cooking - for both of you. Learn how to cook each other's favorite meal and then do it together. Whether you end up with a delicious steak and tuna casserole for two or speed-dialing for Chinese takeout, you're guaranteed to enjoy the process.

Forget eating dinner parked in front of a Mad Men marathon until you and your boyfriend are tired of looking at each other. Invite another couple over that you don't know well for a potluck dinner. Ask them to bring the appetizer and dessert, and work on the main course with your guy. At least one of the dishes should come out edible, and you can bond with your new friends over your shared culinary failure.

Tap into your animal instincts by visiting a petting zoo. Bring some bread to feed the animals and spend a few hours debating him on why getting a pet monkey is a bad idea. When you get home, jump in the shower with him to scrub off the zoo smell.

Play 20 Questions. Whether you've been together for three weeks or three years, there are probably things you don't know about each other. Each of you should write down 20 questions about the other - make sure they're open-ended so you don't get boring one-word answers - and fire away. Take turns answering the questions and get to know each other a little better than you already do.

Take a pottery class together and decorate your apartment in misshapen vases and funky-looking coffee mugs. Resist the urge to make your guy recreate the scene from Ghost every time you walk into class.

Have pretentious conversations about art at a local show. You'll find them going on all year at community centers, schools, and libraries - you might even find a great piece of art to add to your home.

Take a hike. Spend the day hiking and taking pictures together. When you're ready to recover, add some extra romance to the evening - lie across the hood of the car and look at the stars.

If you're tired of a quiet dinner at home disintegrating into chips and dip on the couch with no conversation between the two of you except for requests to change the channel, grab a blanket and some food and have an indoor picnic. The best part of staying inside? No ants in your food - plus, you're free to get busy right then and there.

Take a class together. Sign up to learn something neither of you knows how to do. Community schools generally offer a lot of options for classes you can take in eight-week sessions, from cooking to karate.

Put on your walking shoes and head to the museum. Almost all museums have one day a week where you can get in for free or for a small suggested donation. Pick the exhibits you each want to see beforehand, and spend some time at each of them together.

Celebrate something special with a trip to a bed and breakfast. A one-night stay in the colder months won't break the bank, so you can put that extra cash toward a room with a hot tub or breakfast in bed. If you're in for a long car ride, grab a book on tape from the local library.

Look into the future: Go together for a psychic reading. Practice your poker faces and spend the rest of the night talking about how funny - or eerily accurate - the reading was.

Score major points and head to a baseball game with your guy. Tickets can be as cheap as $5 a person, but bring extra cash for some beer, hot dogs, and a giant foam finger.

Check the theater offerings at local colleges and high schools. Schools usually have a spring and a fall show, and it's a great way to see a version of your favorite plays and musicals for a fraction of the cost.

One man's junk is another couple's treasure. Grab your guy and see what you can dig up at local garage sales. Up your chances of scoring something great by going to the ritziest neighborhood in your area.

Rent bikes - a tandem one, if you're adventurous - and go for a long ride through the park. Pack a few sandwiches and plenty of water for a picnic, or just grab hot dogs from a stand when you're ready for a break.

See the stars without braving the cold by getting tickets to the planetarium. Sneak in a thin blanket and cozy up. For extra privacy, go during off-peak times - call ahead to see when those are.

Bummed that you can't afford a weeklong vacation with your man? Put things in perspective and volunteer together for a cause you both care about. TiVo Gossip Girl and sign up to work at a soup kitchen once a week, or cuddle up with lovable cats and dogs at your local animal shelter.

Want some quiet time? Exercise your creative talents by drawing each other. All you need are two pieces of paper, some art supplies, and a bottle of wine for a quiet, romantic night in. Go as artistic or as fun as you wish.

Get physical. Get free day passes to a gym whose membership you could never afford and have him spot you. Challenge him to a fitness competition, bribe him into taking a spin class with you, and take advantage of the gym's sauna or pool, if it has one.

You can knit holiday sweaters like nobody's business. Your man is a Guitar Hero rock star. It's great to have separate hobbies, but it's also fun to share. Pick a weekend to teach each other your hobbies, and serenade him with a guitar solo while he knits you a pair of mittens.

While you're waiting for your Netflix delivery, stop at your local library and rent a few old movies. Toss a coin to see whose pick you'll watch first, and promise not to interrupt with bored sighs, eye-rolling, or snoring sound effects during each other's choices.

Travel back in time and reminisce. If you or your guy still live close to where you grew up, give each other a tour of your childhoods. Grab a camera and take pictures of your all-grown-up selves as you visit each landmark.

Can't get away for a vacation? Sightsee in your own city. If you've lived in your area for a long time, chances are you never got around to seeing a lot of the tourist attractions. So grab your guy and pretend to be tourists for a weekend. Stop at a used bookstore or look online for travel guides for your city, put together an itinerary, and don't forget to take pictures!

Grab a cup of coffee and check out a local coffee shop's open mic night. You might luck out with a great show, or you may find a mixed bag of angsty guitar solos and bad poetry - either way, you'll have something to talk (or laugh) about on the way home.

You probably live within driving distance of a college or university. Log on to the school's website and check out the scheduled events - often, schools will open large events, like lectures and panels, to the public. Check back often - your guy's favorite movie director might be appearing at a screening at the school's drama department, or you might find a panel of your favorite authors speaking to the English majors.

Share a few laughs at a comedy club amateur night. Admission usually costs two drinks per person, and you're in for a hilarious night - whether you're laughing with the comedian or at him.
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10 Ways to make your relationship more thrilling

PinkNC — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 10:16:47 -0800

**Romantic thrills**

The start of a relationship is exciting, risky, even a bit scary, and we savor every slightly out-of-control minute of it. "I'm crazy for him," we say. "He makes my heart pound." That early relationship thrill comes from the high of discovery, from learning your partner's passions and fears. It's the mystery of the unknown and the anticipation of the unexpected: What's he thinking? Will he call?

As a relationship matures, though, we tend to trade that intense feeling of free-falling for contentment and security. But why can't we have the best of both worlds: a rock-solid, comfortable, deeply fulfilling partnership and a regular injection of "but I barely know you" mystery? According to relationship experts and some thrill-seeking couples, we can.

Here are 10 ways to stay in love and never stop falling

1. Scare yourselves silly

Medical experts liken the body's fear response to sexual arousal - our pulse quickens and we break out in a sweat, which may explain why people voluntarily bungee-jump or descend full speed down glaciers on skis. We get a rush from being scared in a somewhat controlled environment, and when we do it with a partner, we're brought together by the feeling of having conquered our fears hand in hand.

2. Spill a secret

Intimacy and thrills go hand in hand, which is probably why the initial getting-to-know-you period at the beginning of a relationship is so exciting.

3. Place a bet

You and your husband have $20 on Hootenanny to win in the sixth race. He rounds the far turn three back from the lead, but he's closing in fast. The horses thunder past you down the stretch, and Hootenanny wins by a nose!

You jump into your husband's arms and suddenly realize you're having a blast. The adrenaline rush, the decadence of throwing caution (and a few bucks) to the wind, and the slightly sleazy atmosphere of the track or your average casino all make gambling a great way to inject a little pizzazz into your relationship.

Of course, you don't have to wager your hard-earned cash to get the same effect: Try playing strip poker in your living room after the kids go to bed or going to a pool hall and betting on who has to make dinner for the next week.

4. Be a little daring

When I was in high school the "in" thing to do during the wee hours of a warm summer night was to sneak into the local pool and go skinny-dipping. Fear of getting caught in a compromising position is guaranteed to evoke some thrills and chills, and you can bring back that feeling as adults in small ways that won't get you thrown in the slammer. How, you ask?

The next time the two of you go to a movie, hide in the last row of the theater and fool around.

5. Relive your first date

Your first date was a mystery that had yet to be solved. There were several juicy clues - the look in your date's eyes, the way he kissed you - and plenty of nervous tension. But even though you know how that mystery turned out, returning to the scene of that first crime can bring back some of those old goosebumps.

6. Cyber-romance each other

These days it's far too easy for a chasm of cyberspace to grow between a husband and wife. He can spend hour after hour playing a computer game, and she can't seem to get enough of the Women.com chat rooms. But with a few quick clicks, you can use this very same technology to hot-wire your marriage. "With the accessibility of e-mail," says Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage and family therapist in Woodstock, IL, and author of Divorce Busting, "we can take the time to do things we wouldn't ordinarily do, like sending love letters."

One woman she knows decided that if her husband was going to spend all of his time surfing the Internet, she would express her feelings online. She e-mailed him a very personal romantic poem and got an amazingly romantic response.

7. See each other in a different light

Kristen Kiser, 30, of Astoria, NY, and her husband add a spark to their marriage by hosting a holiday dinner for friends who can't make it home for the holiday. "I get to see what Marc's like in action, when he's taking charge and acting the host," she says. "It makes me fall in love with him all over again."

Says Los Angeles psychotherapist Suzanne Lopez, author of Get Smart with Your Heart, "Seeing your partner with different eyes has to do with letting go of preconceived ideas. It can really change the energy in a relationship for the better." Other eye-opening ideas: Consider taking a boxing class together at the gym, where you both might be a bit more wild and aggressive than usual, or dance lessons, where you might surprise each other with your grace.

8. Become a master of seduction

A little bit of forethought can awaken some of the passion in your marriage, even on an ordinary Tuesday night. Rob Czaplewski, 29, of Grand Island, NB, likes to get home from work before his wife and put a love note on the back door. "Then I have her favorite music playing with all the candles lit in the living room and a bed of pillows on the floor," he says, "and finally, the promise of a backrub to help her relax."

Jenna Schlehuber, 42, of Moran, MI, used a bottle of cologne to build temptation. She bought her husband a scent she really liked and had it wrapped. When he went upstairs that evening to take his shower, she left it on his pillow with a card that said, "Would you wear this tonight for me, and only this?" Says Schlehuber, "After a few minutes, I went upstairs to find him just the way I asked, waiting patiently for me to come to bed. What a romantic evening we had - better than ever. And he loved the cologne, too."

9. Profit from the passion

Sex is something relationship experts universally agree will bolster just about every area of a marriage - including its thrill quotient. Increased sexual contact is a way to recapture the erotic force that brought you together in the first place.

Weiner-Davis tells of one woman who, soon after resolving to have more sex with her husband, not only characterized her marriage as more thrilling but said that he suddenly began mowing the lawn regularly and making her coffee in the morning - unasked.

10. Take a trip to nowhere

At the beginning of your relationship, every date was an adventure; you never knew quite what was going to happen or how it was going to end up. So one weekend, take a trip - overnight or just for the day - without knowing where you're going. No packing, no planning.

Says Patty Moosbrugger, 35, of New York City, who's been married for six years, "Every now and then we just grab sweaters and sandwiches and get on a train. We get out when we feel like it and spend the day exploring wherever we land." By letting go of some of the control you have over your lives, you'll recapture that exciting sense of the unknown you felt when you first met.
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Source: Sheknows

he seems hung up on his ex

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 06:41:33 -0800

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. We met while I was in college about 4 hours away from my hometown, and after I graduated he moved home with me. We have our own apartment together, he's enrolled in grad school down here, and we're very close with each other's family/friends. I'd say we've made quite the quaint little life for ourselves! He's an amazing boyfriend, very attentive, funny, romantic, talented... I love him with all of my heart and feel so lucky to have him in my life. There's only one problem... his ex. They were high school sweethearts and started dating when they were 15 or so. They were together all through high school and through part of college. I've never met this girl, he no longer talks to her, and she lives over four hours away. The problem is that he refuses to let go of her. He is a musician and so is she. Even though he is supposedly over her, he keeps all of these cassette tapes she made. Some of them have her performing her music, some have songs they performed together, and others are just mix tapes with her talking in between songs. I've caught him listening to these tapes before in his room. I just don't understand why you'd want to listen to sentimental tapes like that from an ex you are supposedly over. Also, he's always logging in to her music myspace and listening to her music THERE too! I've never even met this girl, but I feel like she lives in my apartment because her damn voice is always playing in there! And to make matters worse, I've listened to the lyrics of her songs and MOST of them seem to be about him! On top of all that, he keeps boxes filled with pictures of the two of the them, and little trinkets and random objects that I guess were meaningful during their relationship. I've tried to talk to him about why all of this upsets me, but he just says that the whole situation "was a huge part of his life" and "made him who he is" and that he "can't just pretend like it didn't happen". He said he's broken up with two different girls since breaking up with her because they couldn't get past it, so I know giving him an ultimatum will not work. I know that he loves me, but I just don't know if I can go on feeling like i'm only getting a piece of his heart while this other girl is getting the other part of it. He won't ever talk to me about why they broke up, other than "it just didn't work out". I've tried to ask some of his friends about it, and it scares me because they all seem to love her. I just want to hear something bad about her so that I'll stop worrying that he'll leave me at any moment to be with her. I do know that HE broke up with HER, but at this point I don't even know if that makes any difference. It's not like this girl is trying to contact him or worm her way back into his life, but I can't help but hate her a little bit. They haven't talked or seen each other in over two years, but I still feel uneasy, especially when he goes home to her area. What would you guys do in this situation?