house guests

We're happy to present a post from Stylelist Home!

It's July and suddenly you are more popular than you ever dreamed — blessed with an abundance of off-Cape friends and relatives who've arrived for a visit. Some you wanted to invite, planning their arrival carefully in consideration of your schedule and theirs. Others wheedled their way to your door after hinting they'd like to spend a day or two — or three or more — on Cape Cod. If you're very gracious, naive, or bored, you may then have extended an invitation for them to stay with you and enjoy the Cape's beaches, boats, fishing, or golf.

As former Manhattanites, my husband and I occasionally hosted visiting friends and relatives in our apartment for a night or two. But after moving here four years ago, we realized that longer-term visits were the norm for Summer visitors. That first year, we invited city friends to see our new home and enjoy the Cape. While we enjoyed seeing them, we found ourselves exhausted from cooking, touring, cleaning, and entertaining. A bit wiser the following years, we restricted our visitors to only a few each Summer.

In time, we realized our visitors fit into several distinct categories. The first, and most exemplary guest was one who stayed with us earlier this month, a woman so polite as to make Miss Manners blush. Our Perfect Guest was not only neat, helpful, considerate, and interested in her surroundings, but even insisted upon treating us to a restaurant in return for several home-cooked meals. Needless to say she will be invited back again.

Certain other guests are less welcome. They include: the Night Owl, the Nonstop Talker, the Complainer, the Lingerer, the Do-It Yourselfer and the Slob. Each have certain foibles which work well for them in their own homes , but tend to rankle even the most easy-going host.

Keep reading to hear more about the less-welcome types of guests!

With the long weekend looming delightfully ahead of us, I wanted to remind you of the importance of the thank-you note! If you're spending the next few days at a friend's house or attending a barbecue or party hosted by a loved one, after the fact, take a quick minute to send them a thank-you. It doesn't have to be a handwritten note (although those are always greatly appreciated), a short, but sweet email or text is perfectly acceptable. Here are four reasons why you should make time to say thanks:

1. If the hostess is a good one, she probably put a lot of thought and planning into your visit or meal. Did she welcome you with your favorite bottle of bubbly? Was she sure to include plenty of vegetarian options on the menu? She took the time to think about what makes you happy, so let her know you're grateful for her effort.
2. Do you want to get invited back? Be sure to send a thank-you! The hostess who entertains a lot will make note of the guests who send a thank-you vs. those who do not send a thank-you. Don't say thanks and she may choose not to invite you to her next party.
3. The thank-you card is a dying art that should be brought back! I'm sure your parents made you write them when you were little, so why did you grow out of the habit? It's the polite and proper thing to do.
4. It will brighten your hostess's day. Did you look forward to her barbecue and have an awesome time? Then make the days after the fiesta a little happier for her and let her know it was a wonderful soiree.

Do you send a thank-you after attending a party? What's your reasoning for it?

This holiday, many households will be packed with visiting friends and family. If your home is one of them, follow these tips to make your loved ones feel right at home.

• Make room: Even if you don’t have a designated guest room, be sure to give your guests some room of their own. Clearing out a little space in a spare closet or a drawer in the bathroom can go a long way toward making guests feel at home.
• Give the grand tour: Show your guests around the house as soon as they arrive, and don’t hold back the details. Guests will appreciate knowing the quirks of your house ahead of time so they aren’t left fumbling around on their own later.
• Have bedding handy: Before your guests arrive, dig out your spare bedding and keep it somewhere accessible. That’ll give your sheets and blankets a chance to fluff up and air out, and when it comes time to make down beds, you won’t have to make a big show of pulling out extra linens.
• Give reverse hostess gifts: Even though you’re the hostess, having a small gift waiting for your guests is a nice way to welcome them to your home. Think of things they might need during their stay, like travel-size toiletries, travel candles, goodies, or a new book or magazine.
• Cozy up their space: Houseguests often end up staying in rooms that aren’t always used for sleeping, so think about whether their sleeping quarters need anything extra to be comfy and cozy. Add extra blankets or feather beds, space heaters, or hang temporary curtains if necessary.

How do you make out-of-town guests feel at home?

If you're hosting guests this month, you can make them feel at home wherever they're laying their head. Whether you're putting guests up in a spare bedroom or on the sofa, one way to make them feel welcome is to add a tray to the space. Outfit it with an alarm clock, a good book, a glass of water, and other sweet touches to let them know that you're happy to have them visit. Flowers, even a solo bloom in an egg cup or bud vase, are the perfect finishing flourish.
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An overnight guest usually only requires a soft place to rest their head and a clean spot to wash up, but take your hosting skills a step further by welcoming them with a little treat. I've got a list of my immediate family and close friends' favorite confections, and whenever they're staying at my pad for the night, I always leave a bag of their favorite goodies on the bed waiting for them.

If I'm feeling extra ambitious, I'll wrap it up in something pretty with a tag that says, "Welcome." For everyone else whose sweet spot I don't have noted, I'll just put out an artisan chocolate candy bar or something most folks will enjoy. It's a simple gesture, but it goes a long way toward making visitors feel welcome.