Worldwide Fred has dreamt up another wacky solution to your insignificant problems. Borrow My Pen? ($8) would have come in handy (no pun intended) in college, or any school for that matter. You remember how classmates ask to borrow a pen and never return them? Here's how to stop pen theft in its tracks. Offer your unprepared friends one of these ballpoints with subversive taglines like "Springfield Sexual Addiction Center," "Electrolysis Is Us: The First Name in Unwanted Hair Removal," "Van Nuys Center For Cosmetic Surgery: Specializing in Difficult Gender Reassignments," etc. Pretty hilarious, huh? Just be sure not to use these when signing a mortgage in front of your co-op board.