I get it. I know that the book Porn For Women, which came out in 2007 from Chronicle Books, is a joke. Still, it rubs me the wrong way. If you're not familiar with this little book of photos, here's a synopsis:
Prepare to enter a fantasy world. A world where clothes get folded just so, delicious dinners await, and flatulence is just not that funny. Give the fairer sex what they really want: beautiful PG photos of hunky men cooking, listening, asking for directions, accompanied by steamy captions: "I love a clean house!" or "As long as I have two legs to walk on, you'll never take out the trash." Now this is porn that will leave women begging for more!

I have a problem with this book for a few reasons (and believe me, I have a well-developed if dorky sense of humor, just ask GiggleSugar). One of these is the idea that what makes women hot isn't happening between the sheets with her man, but it's getting her sheets ironed by her man. And equally alarming, I think, is the idea that men still don't do their share of housework. At my house, my fiancé does at least 50% of the housework (and nobody gets the white kitchen countertops as sparkling as he does; really, he's some kind of countertop genius). Even when I was growing up, my dad was down in the trenches on Saturdays, our family's official housecleaning day, holding his own with the broom and the dustcloth. So tell me, Casa readers, has this been your experience with men and housecleaning, or is my experience the exception to the rule? And also, what's your take on the book? Tell me when you leave a comment below.
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I think what alarms me most is that it's very blatantly gender stereotyping women as neurotic housekeepers. Many of us are working women. I know I don't sit around and think, "Gee, my life would be so complete if my boyfriend folded the towels."
Every person I've dated (even if he wasn't living with me), cleaned up with me. I've never had to do it alone. Sure, it's romantic when a guy cooks or I come home to an especially clean apartment, but that's not on my top 10 sexual fantasies.
1I understand the part that bothers people, but to me thats what I find funny. I think its funny that they would think that women get off on seeing their man to "women" jobs, because both are lies. A) I get off on men no matter what B) those aren't women jobs anymore. I think its part of the joke, but I completely understand the insulting part.
2I don't think they made the book to be super-stereotypical against women, I think they did it to be funny. I think the idea of the book is hilarious and I'm mad that I didn't think of it first! Just look at it from a lighter perspective, not everything is out there just to get us, ladies.
3i do most of the house work. i get home at 5:30ish and he gets home a 8-8:30 he pays most of the bills and works more and i clean more. it works. i sitll cant stand laundry and have been trying to pawn it off on him for the last 3 years.
4Um, I'm not going to lie -- my man ironing my sheets is probably more of a turn on than my man between the sheets. Nothing against HIM, but I am, as papaya would say, a "neurotic housekeeper". I AM a working woman -- 80 hours per week in the lab plus more at home -- and I DO sit around thinking about how much nicer things would be if my fiance folded the towels or made the bed in the morning. I love everything to be perfectly picked up and tidy, and when I lived on my own, it was easy. Now that we're living together I'm STILL working all the time, but he makes a mess. A man who irons and makes the bed and does the laundry? YES, PLEASE! Maybe someone will buy me this book for my bachelorette party.
5I don't allow my finace' do clean anything.... he would half @$$ it and i'm such a neat freak i end up cleaning over what he did.
6I think the book is hilarious. Gave it to a friend going through a messy divorce and she loved it as well.
Honestly, it's easy when you're a young mother to sometimes feel like nothing more than a diaper-changing milk machine moonlighting as a maid for no tips. There's much more to life than that and having a partner who recognizes that your sole sources of joy aren't him and laundry means a lot.
I'm not trying to overanalyze this book, but for me it's about having someone step in and take over some of the more tedious aspects of life so you can have time to do the things you truly enjoy.
7Being offended is a choice, and I really don't think unless they were singling you out, it's worth being offended about. It should be enough to know that your future husband isn't a stereotypical male slob.
My BF and I don't clean except for our own messes. He'd often answer the door with cleaning paraphernalia in his hands. I thought it was sexy.
8I think it's funny for older women like my Mom who never got help around the house (or don't think they did). I can't really relate to that because my husband does more of the day to day cleaning and I do the deep cleaning. It's funny and silly but it might be in bad taste in this day and age.
9I don't find the book offensive (it's all in good fun after all) so much as the fact that men still do so little housework that a book like this can still be funny to people. It's amazing that as far as we've come in society, there are still LOTS of people who see housework as women's work, even if they wouldn't admit it. Thankfully, that is not the case in my house.
10So is this why I'm hot for my housekeeper that comes once a week?
11My brother in law does most the chores around their house. My sister sometimes works long hours & sometimes has to travel for work as well. Ever since they got married this has been the case. Now they have 2 kids & he still does all that & take care of their kids when my sister is busy with work!
12I agree with nancita up there.
13Quite frankly, my husband does not do nearly equal housework, and I'm often too exhausted from working and cleaning and whatnot to even contemplate sex some days. Seeing him cleaning would be a major turn-on, and sharing the household chores equally would allow for some actual sexy time!
I think that the book is funny b/c yes, it represents a big stereotype. And I do know a lot of boys who do not do anything and expect women to do their 'job' by cleaning. BUT, my dad and brothers are not like that. My dad does most of the cooking and cleaning, because he wants to. That's the scenario I'm used to, so it would be weird for me to get married and have a husband who expects me to do everything.
14I ain't gonna lie.... I am a fan of the chore-gasm.... when my husband cleans.... man oh man its the biggest turn on, one less thing for me to do
15I understand you being offended but you are very lucky to have man that cleans up, not only after himself but after you too! My husband comes in the house and drops his clothes at the front door, throws NOTHING in the trash, or the dirty clothes hamper, washes his own clothes - not OUR clothes, I have NEVER seen him clean off the counter tops, the stove, wax a peice of wood furniture. I think I would have multiple O's if I saw him pushing the vaccum. Thank goodness he's cute and pays all the bills.
16I get the feminist angle, and five or ten years ago I would have been really offended, but I think it's hilarious. A girlfriend of mine just had a major blow-out with her man about his porn collection, and I think she would get a much-needed laugh out of this too. Besides, I could go on for days about how "real" porn for women is totally cheesey and inferior to what's produced for men. And have you ever been to a strip club for women? They charge a ticket price, like it's high art. You're ushered in for a show, and promply ushered out when it's over, presumably so that you can get back home to your husband and children as you should. It's a joke - sorry looking men in lame costumes, dancing choreographed numbers. Hordes of desperate housewives and childish bridal parties flock to these things, and go absolutely bonkers for this stuff. They lose all good sense, doing things men would never be allowed to do in their strip clubs. That's ridiculous - and completely sexist. This, this is funny.
17Thankfully I have a very helpful hubby. and he really doesn't have to be since I don't work outside the home (I'm a full time homemaker), however, I do find the book funny. I do find it attractive when my hubby helps out with some of the household chores, I find it incredibly attractive when he plays with the children or reads to them or just cuddles with them. I also find him attractive just out of the shower, I'm pretty easy really lol.
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